Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Life with ADHD

I am sitting here, at my computer, trying to start (and finish) a paper that is due today. I must check my e-mail first (just in case the professor gave us an extension on the paper and I write the entire thing this morning for nothing). I come across an e-mail from Zoo Borns (which brings me the top newborn exotic baby animal news from zoos around the world, yes, very important news). I see that the zoo in Costa Rica had a new batch of baby sloths. I google baby sloths to find a cute video. After watching five baby sloth videos, and deciding that one day I, too, will own a baby sloth sanctuary in Costa Rica, YouTube gives me "related videos," where a cute newborn puppy is featured. Deciding that, if Tim and I end up getting a house, we will have a yard and will therefore need a new puppy, I go to Craigs List in search of a new puppy. I find an adorably Miniature Pinchser and decide that we should be its new parents. I find myself wishing that I could cuddle this cute little dog right now but my daydreams are interrupted by Teddy pawing my leg so that I pay attention to him. Can't he see that I'm trying to focus on the possibility of getting a cute little dog to cuddle with (the next best thing to a baby sloth)? I throw a toy across the room for Teddy in an effort to distract him and realize that (since it's 11 a.m.) I should probably get dressed. I go to my closet to find clothes for the day and see my wedding dress, which I really need to get cleaned. I wonder if I'm the same size I was at my wedding and decide there's only one way to find out. A couple of minutes later I'm adjusting my multiple veils and realize that Teddy has never seen my in my wedding dress. I ask him to wait around the corner as I make my grand entrance. However, I realize that the entrance won't be complete without the song that I actually walked down the isle to. I can't remember the name so I google it. I pull up itunes to download the song (because I should definitely have a permanent copy). The stupid Genius tool on itunes lets me know that a new Ciara song is out (stupid Genius always knows how to distract me). I download it instead and go to find Teddy so we can have our first dance together with me in my wedding dress. With the music way too loud we twirl around the living room until we are interrupted by a knock at the door. Suddenly aware that I'm dancing with a tiny white dog in a huge wedding dress, I fall silent and hope that they will just think that I forgot to turn my music off and go away. They continue to knock and as someone begins to unlock the door, I realize it's staff from the apartment complex checking the fire alarm. A man in his thirties enters, takes one look at me and says "I'm sorry, I knocked to see if anyone was home." Thinking fast I reply, "Oh, it's fine, I was just getting dressed." I run back to my room to hide until he leaves, suddenly extremely frustrated that he's keeping me from completing my paper.

True story, the likes of which are repeated on a daily basis in the Dye household.
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