I happen to be married to an amazing man named Tim. He is amazing for many reasons, but today, I shall focus on the slew of crap he has to put up with. Without further adieu, my 20 apologies to Tim and, trust me, the list could be much longer.
Dearest Tim, I'm sorry for:
1. Hardly ever cooking.
2. Buying a dog that barks too much, jumps between both of us when we're snuggling on the couch and obsessively licks my face whenever you try to kiss me.
3. My repetitive jokes and personal stories.
4. Being so absorbed in the Twilight series that I yelled at you when you tried to interrupt me.
5. And, as a result, begging you to tell me whether you'd like to be a vampire or a werewolf.
6. And then asking you multiple times if you were a vampire, if you would bite me so we could live forever together.
7. Putting my cold feet against your warm legs while you're trying to sleep.
8. Snuggling with you in the middle of the night, again, when you're trying to sleep.
9. Leaving dirty dishes out too long.
10. Eating all the cookie dough before we ever get a chance to actually make cookies.
11. Getting hooked on shows that you hate: Intervention, America's Next Top Model, Snapped, etc. and not being passionate about the stock market or CNBC.
12. Loving funny animal videos so much that I show them to you incessantly.
13. Burning you by accident with my hot hair dryer when I was pretending it was a gun and I stuck it right up against your leg.
14. My incredible short attention span.
15. Whenever sitting next to you almost always turns into leaning against you, poking my shoulder into your ribs, leaning my head against your stomach, or any of the other uncomfortable positions I put you in.
16. My ability to bring up personal information in group conversations.
17. Hating beer but loving expensive alcoholic beverages.
18. Loving my computer, social media, computer games and anything related to the internet entirely too much.
19. Falling asleep at almost every social function, friend's house, car trip, or other outing that you've taken me to.
20. Being so in love with you that I literally want to smother you physically almost every day of the week.
Thank you for loving me so deeply, not in spite of my flaws and quirks, but along with them. I love you.
This is embarrassing, but I had a Twilight dream last night. Wow, I can't believe I'm actually admitting it. Hey, it wasn't like I chose to dream that, it just happened. Do you know that Stephanie Myer came up with the idea for the entire series from one dream? She sat down the next day and started writing down her dream and three months later...ta-da...Twilight was completed. Too bad I wasn't the first one to dream about Twilight. Then I could have written Twilight and I would've demanded full-access to all the movie sets a.k.a. Robert Pattinson. Sadly, all I can do is wait until the next movie comes out and go see it along with all the screaming teenage girls. What has my life become?
